it's too early for this..

but I feel it coming already.

this break from school has been nothing short of amazing. but now I can feel it coming to an end.

one last week before everyone starts to go their separate ways, and I don't want it to end.

it's too soon. and I don't want to be in this deep.

but here we go, one last week to make this all count for something.

I am finding that letting going and holding on are two in the same.

"if I could tell you what's next. make you believe. make you forget..."

come on get higher.

I miss the sound of your voice And I miss the rush of your skin And I miss the still of the silence As you breathe out and I breathe in If I could walk on water If I could tell you what's next I'd make you believe I'd make you forget So come on, get higher, loosen my lipsFaith and desire and the swing of your hipsJust pull me down hard And drown me in love So come on, get higher, loosen my lipsFaith and desire and the swing of your hips Just pull me down hard And drown me in loveI miss the sound of your voiceThe loudest thing in my head And I ache to remember All the violent, sweet, perfect words that you saidIf I could walk on waterIf I could tell you what's nextI'd make you believeI'd make you forgetSo come on, get higher, loosen my lips Faith and desire and the swing of your hipsJust pull me down hardAnd drown me in loveSo come on, get higher, loosen my lipsFaith and desire and the swing of your hipsJust pull me down hardAnd drown me in Love miss the pull of your heartI taste the sparks on your tongueI see angels and devils and God, when you come onHold on, hold on, hold on, hold onSingin' sha la la laSingin' sha la la la laSo come on, get higher, loosen my lipsFaith and desire and the swing of your hipsJust pull me down hardAnd drown me in loveSo come on, get higher, loosen my lipsFaith and desire and the swing of your hipsJust pull me down hardAnd drown me, drown me in loveSo wrong, So wrong So wrong, So rightSo come on, get higherSo come on and get higher'Cause everything works, love Everything works in your arms.
-matt nathanson.



lyrics. (that blogger thought needed to be reformatted.) i love 'em.
I want some five time:] and I feel like a spot meeting should take place sometime soon.
I kind of feel like dancing. which brings me to a spot idea, I will share with you four soon:]
love.

:]

I tried to put a video that b, rachel, and I made. but it was taking too long.

I like being home a lot.

and I like life a lot.

and I think I have learned to let go, a lot.

and to not hold so tightly. and to not take myself so seriously.

and to enjoy the light.

I am more than content. :]]]

Rise Up.

this is where I bought my Tom's.
it doesn't get cooler then getting a sweet pair of shoes, giving a sweet pair of shoes to a child who has none, and buying those sweet pair of shoes from a place that gives 10% to fight poverty.
and for the record props to rachel. she discovered it.

Read it:
Rise Up the boutique was the brainchild of a few people interested in developing pathways for people to rise up out of poverty. Two of those “brainiacs” were Jesse and Maria Roberts who are the creators and driving force behind Rise Up International, a non profit organization dedicated to helping children Rise Up from poverty by supporting free educational centers, art schools and drug rehabilitation projects in Nicaragua, China, and India. In the near future, Phoenix, Arizona, USA will be added to those more distant locations.
Rise Up International began designing a clothing line because “fashion can fight poverty” and, according to Jesse, “A lot of people don’t want to sponsor an orphan, but everyone buys clothes.”
The Rise Up boutique is into street art, pulp posters, revolution, and the 80’s, to name a few. Our demographic is everyone: indie kids, hip hop kids, nerds, jocks, fashionistas, children, parents, and anyone else who wants to make a difference in the world and look good while doing it. Rise Up the boutiques contributes 10 percent of what it sells to the cause fighting poverty through fashion and art.
The Rise Up Boutique sells men’s and women’s tee shirts and hoodies with artful graphics and phrases that encourage peace, outreach, and service to the larger community. Rise Up also carries quality denim, women’s tops and dresses, hats, and sunglasses in addition to unique jewelry and artwork by local artists. Along with designs by Rise Up International, the store has clothing and accessories from other socially conscience brands like OBEY and Grn Apple Tree as well as TOM’S Shoes, where with every pair of shoes you buy, they give a pair to a child in need. The boutique is also stocked with other high-end product from Insight, Quail, and Sabre Vision.
Rise Up is both a call to revolt and to elevate. It’s a revolutionary pull on those of us who are privileged to “rise up” and make a difference in the world by not settling for comfort but instead helping others elevate and empower themselves out of poverty.

check it: www.riseupstores.com

:] "give hope to the ones who have no hope at all."

stand up for those who can't stand at all.

I have nothing to be upset about.

I just wrote my final paper for English 105 on Poverty.

and yet I managed to complain about it. and then it hit me..

if the biggest of my worries is a 10 page research paper I must be truly blessed.

I am blessed enough to even have the opportunity to further my education, or to have an education at all.

never have I had to worry about where I will sleep or if I will eat tomorrow. And I cannot even imagine what that must feel like.

I am so very lucky. and I need to remember that every single second of everyday. I need to use what I have been blessed with to bless others and I can't do that if I am not focused on those blessing.

this hit me like a rock. and I am disappointed in myself for not remembering it earlier.

I pray that I will always remember not to take what I have for granted and to be thankful for every research paper and exam I ever have to take. I am truly blessed in so many ways, and I intend to not let those blessings go to waste.

and I will pray for those who aren't yet so blessed.

instead of a show.

"instead let there be a flood of justice. an endless precession of righteous living."

"you turned your back on the homeless and the ones that don't fit in your plan."

"give love to the ones who can't love at all."

"give hope to the ones who have no hope at all."

"stand up for the ones who can't stand at all."

it's never what you say (or the "show" you put on) it is what you do and how you live your life EVERYDAY that matters.

so it seems I've got work to do.

what about you?

how to make you see..

and then I remember I don't have to make you understand.
"well you might be a bit confused"
I don't want to get rich and have a huge house and a nice car. I don't want a job were I make more money than I need. I don't want to find a nice boy and "settle" down. I don't want to think about, much less talk about, getting married. I don't want to have a cute little family with two kids, a dog, a schedule, and a mini van. I am not in school so I can get a good job and not have to worry about money. I don't think that family time should consist of sitting in front of the tv. I don't want to live "the american dream."

I want a home filled with love and a car that gets me from point a to point b. I want a job that I LOVE. I want to find myself and then understand where a boy would fit into that. I want marriage to come when it is right and I am ready. I want a beautiful huge family with lots of craziness and love. I am in school to learn and to know that I will always be provided for. I think family time should consist of love and listening and exploring the beauty in this world. I want to live my dream.

I am not hoping for hardship but I am hoping for opportunities for challenge and growth.
that doesn't seem to make sense to most. but it makes sense to me. and I think that is what matters.
Lately I am pretty blessed. and all I can do is give thanks. and continue to do what I need to.

nine days til BREAK!
YEESSSsSsssss.

there's beauty in EVERYTHING.

knots. and cds. pink sparkly nail polish. free chocolate. mindy gledhill.
"I'm making friends at last with my reflection in the glass."
"so many different pieces make up the whole of me."
gifts. tunes. thinking. listening. comfort. readiness. simplicity. joy.
"love isn't made." but I do believe it is found.
working out. jon foreman. "instead let there be a flood of justice, instead of a show."
snow clouds. and last french 201 class. mail:].
"GIVE LOVE TO THE ONES WHO CAN'T LOVE AT ALL"
and vague blogs.
:] and happy hearts.

family&friends.

this is what happened wednesday-sunday...

first thing wednesday morning was Delaney's thanksgiving school performance where she was the cutest indian EVER. and then we went to lenny's burgers for lunch. and then went home and began to prepare food.

the next day was THANKSGIVING. up to aunt holly's to prepare. I made lemon bars, brownies, pumpkin pie filling, and pealed a crap load of apples and potatoes. :] Leonardo helped with the pie crust. and grandma and I made homemade rolls.
and it was delicious.
My family is pretty normal. obviously...

all of friday was spent working. :] ahh black friday crazyness.

and saturday was spent working and visiting dad. then back home to make ginger bread cookies with Delaney. :]

hhaha.

and then came the spot. and B's birthday.
the five, pizza, cake, brownies, blankets, coldness, having to pee, attacking glowing mouth dogs, attacking rachel, the lake of death, mr. pine, rules, candles, stories, WAX, "I accidentally just kissed your ear.." "I was going to ignore that." hahaha. did I just break the rules?

:] :]:]:] I love.