hey bestfriends.

just to let you know, I am have officially declared my major. :]
My major is officially elementary education with an emphasis on bilingual multicultural education.

so one day I will be able to teach kids all over the world.
haaahaaa. :]


Happy Halloweeeeen.

serious.

just in case you all didn't believe me...

this came a couple days ago.

that's grandma, aunt holly, aunt laurel,

delaney, savannah, and yes molly.

hahaaa.

I love my family.

I get to hang out with them this weekend. :]

and MEIGEN! I am go glad she is coming home.

dinner.

seriously that's what I had for dinner.

my mom would be so proud of me.

underwhere?

I write too many blogs.
even though I now have my own playlist I still listen to Meigen's when I type.


"the hardest thing to let go of is the people you care about." - scrubs.
Yeah I did just quote something from scrubs. :]
I think that show is the perfect amount of humor and seriousness.


I hate this feeling and I just want it to go away and never return.
I don't want to make it a big deal if it isn't but it just feels so big to me.
I have noticed though that these days do go by quite quickly lately.



Normal?



In my family there is this "game" that developed with the invention of camera phones.
It doesn't necessarily have a name or definite rules. But basically when you receive a picture of someone wearing underwear on their head you must return a picture of yourself wearing underwear on your head (in addition to sending it to all the other players) whoever returns their picture to the original sender first wins. in the beginning the rules were much stricter for example the underwear on your head had to be yours and you had to send it back within fifteen minutes of receiving...however that proved to be difficult. so we are pretty flexible now a days. hahaaa. Anyway there are always pictures of someone wearing underwear on their head on my phone. (in case you ever find them and wonder.)(and don't worry the underwear is always clean.) (for the record if you know my family you know something like this is in no way even close to weird for us.) (scary, huh?)
*those camo underwear are actually boys boxer briefs. they came in the pack with the pairs for our batman and robin costumes.
they're sweet.
I own at the this game. :]
I have been known to include innocent family pets, stuffed animals (yes Meigen, Bluebeary), and even young cousins.




Oh and I learned today that wind (FREEZING WIND) is my new worst enemy. it makes walking to class miserable.

me & myself.

I am going to copy Meigen...sorta.
(stupid blog always reformats my posts. and I don't have the energy to fix it.)

I listen to the music on Meigen's blog when I type on my own blog.

I bought cherry chapstick because B had it. And I am in love.

I am going to be batman for halloween.

and Rachel is going to be robin.

jealous?

I love the french language.

and french music.

I feel guilty on days that I don't work out.

like today.

sometimes I use this blog to organize my thoughts.

which is why I delete.

When I say "my family" I mean my sister, mom, cousins, aunts, & grandparents.

At the moment my ideal 24 hours would be spent laughing with "my family" all day.

and then heading to "the coolest spot ever" and star watching with the four best girls I know.

I only get sad when I think about stuff.

which is why I try not to.

sometimes I wish I was a boy.

because I think life would be easier.

I think I am happier than other people think I am.

I get stressed out when I think about having to tell certain people I don't want them to be in my wedding.

I also get stressed when I think about paying for France.

If I had a choice it would be summer all year long.

and I would be a summer intern at church.

I always fall asleep half way through my night time prays

and then I feel bad.

I want to travel the entire world.

I want to dedicate myself to a cause in which I believe

and lose myself in spiritual service.

for the rest of forever.

Sometimes I get discouraged. and I feel like Ingrid Michaelson's song.

Keep Breathing.

I always relate songs to my current situation.

and my life in general.

I always feel better after I take a nap.

Sometimes the thought of the rest of my life scares me.

like crazy.

I believe I am currently learning that the only one I truly need is You.

and that is because I am finally starting to let myself realize that I don't need you.

and I can't tell if that makes me happy or sad.

I truly believe God has a plan.
I just wish I understood it.

I also believe He brings people into my life to teach me things.

sometimes maybe it is simply how to stand up for myself.

or how to let go.

I like memories.

I think about them a lot.

This whole college thing still doesn't feel like my real life.

I hate not having a "home."

I am learning that I am important too.

and sometimes I need to stop taking care of others

and stat taking care of myself.

I have discovered that honesty and the truth are really important to me.

I think that is enough for now.

It is officially MEIGEN AMANDA VILLAsoRREAL's 19th (she's old. :] )Birthday! call her, text her, love her.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I love you to pieces.

:]

scatteredthoughts.

The Weekend: was not what I thought it was going to be.

the reason I look so scared is because I was terrified of the idea of taking a picture at a goldwater game.haha. but B wanted to. so this was the outcome. :]

I went down to p-town because B was going. But as it turned out we hardly hung out. :[

But I did see so much of my family this weekend. It was refreshing and amazing.

And caught up with some friends I have not talked to in too long. and of course church. It was good.

Now I am back up here in the mountains. thinking. don't you hate when that happens?

Things feel backwards but I don't know why...
I am happy but I feel like so much is missing. maybe it is just me missing things or people or situations..but it feels like more then that.

That doesn't make sense..

I love this little girls. They are so beautiful and they are growing up so fast. my cousins (and aunts) are more like my brothers and sisters. and I miss them. :[ my life is happiest when we all are together. I cannot wait til Christmas. :]

(ps. Delaney doesn't really have pink hair. she just found some fun hairspray.)

I am going to focus on focusing for a little while.

"You're altogether lovely altogether worthy altogether wonderful to me. "

love.

enough.

"You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough"
every time I fall down I am reminded.
tonight it was in the form of a simple younglife song and laughter and love.
I am alive and all that You are is more than enough reason for me to be joyful in every way.
I love being reminded of how much I love.

I truly believe that God knows exactly what he is doing and that as cliche as it is things do happen for a reason.
and that sometimes that reason is beyond our comprehension. But I have faith and I trust Him.
my grandma always says, "God draws straight with crocked lines." and I believe she is right.
we may not be able to see the whole picture right now but one day we will stand back and see what a beautiful thing it truly is.


I am in the best mood I have been in days and I love it.
And I love. and love and love.
:] I owe it all to You.

for sure.

I want to dedicate myself to a cause in which I believe,
and lose myself in spiritual service.
can I make that my major?

French:
textos = text messages
french texto slang is the coolest thing since silced bread. no joke.
A+ = A plus tard.
Bap = Bon apres-midi.
C pa 5pa = c'est pas sympa!
Dak = D'accord.
GT o 6ne = J'etait au cine.
Kestufe? = Qu'est ce que tu fais?
Komencava? = Comment ca va?
Je t'M = Je t'aime.
the last two are my favorite. expect to see these in my textos from now on :]

so it is freezing. literally the ground is ice. oh gezz. :]

thankful.

Words cannot describe how thankful I am that God has blessed me with the friendship of these girls.(plus Meigen)(WHO IS COMING BACK HOME FOR GOOD!)

They are my support system. They always make it better. No matter what.

We laugh even when things aren't funny. We can finish each others thoughts and we have fun doing the lamest things.Nothing is ever too serious, or too stupid, to discuss.

Our lives seem to always fit together and relate.

It seems like we continue to get closer even though we are farther away.

I love them so much. And I wish we went to school together.

It gets harder to come back to these mountains every time I see them.

This WEEKEND.
which of course was another Phoenix weekend (for the most part.)

Saturday I went to the football game, unfortunately I didn't get to watch it. :[

I worked a concession stand with the service jacks. whooo. It was pretty fun and brought back memories of AMC.

I left straight from there to make that quite familiar two hour drive. (which gets longer EVER time)

Then I showered and headed to dinner. We ate and spilled our guts. then we went to "the coolest spot in Glendale" which I wasn't really aware was that cool until everyone decided that is where they are going to hang out from now on. We decided we will probably run into each other on dates there. awkward. And just so it is on record somewhere I was the first one. well and Meigen too, but it was my idea. Anyway the plan was star watching (which B and I are currently in love with) unfortunately it was cloudy so it turned into cloud watching and of course more spilling of guts. Then Taylor went home and the three of us decided, after much uncertainty, against Tempe parties and started in our search for a bathroom for peesalotRachel. After we went to the always-open Walmart the fun began. We, well I, decided we shouldn't talk about it though. But I can tell you it was FUNFUNFUN. And I can also tell you it wasn't a one time thing. We will definitely be doing that again soon. maybe in a different location though. :]

PS. if you ever want to make B or Rachel's lives miserable or thoroughly entertain yourself put a cockroach within five feet of them.

The rest of the weekend was spent uneventfully.

The doctor poked me, asked if that hurt or that, and took some blood. In two weeks I get to do some more tests.

Maybe there isn't anything wrong and my stomach really just doesn't like food?

currently

this song explains everything...

"Sitting here, on this lonely dock

Watch the rain play on the ocean top

All the things I feel I need to say

I can't explain in any other way

I need to be bold
Need to jump in the cold water
Need to grow older with a girl like you
Finally see you are naturally
The one to make it so easy
When you show me the truth
Yeah, I'd rather be with you
Say you want the same thing too

Now here's the sun, come to dry the rain
Warm my shoulders and relieve my pain
You're the one thing that I'm missing here
With you beside me I no longer fear

I need to be bold
Need to jump in the cold water
Need to grow older with a girl like you
Finally see you are naturally
The one to make it so easy
When you show me the truth
Yeah, I'd rather be with you
Say you want the same thing too

I could have saved so much time for us
Had I seen the way to get to where I am today
You waited on me for so long
So now, listen to me say:

I need to be bold
Need to jump in the cold water
Need to grow older with a girl like you
Finally see you are naturally
The one to make it so easy
When you show me the truth
Yeah, I'd rather be with you
Say you want the same thing too."

get it?

superrachel.

My best friend really is super. just watch...

I told you! hahaaaa. She's so cool!

delicious.

Just to let you know, I am in love.

With honey whole wheat bagels with peanut butter.

Maybe it is because this is the first thing I have eaten in a good forty hours.

BUT SERIOUSLY in the words of Meigen "It's like Jesus dancing in my mouth!"

food is delicious. I love it.

Speaking of delicious. :]

HAha I had to. mmmm.